guilt-ridden

i doubt anyone has been wondering, but i was doing a fair bit of visiting yest. a number of my relatives live on the farway east side of the island. so i was dragged alongside my dad yest to visit my grandpa, uncle and babysitter.

i'm such a terrible relation! haven't visited them all in ages! but most of the guilt pricking my conscience stems from not visiting my babysitter enough. normally i do it 3 times a yr. CNY and during my sch hols. however, it still seems to be insufficient. found out that she had gone for surgery in sept to place a pacemaker near her heart in order to regulate her heartbeat. i didn't know about it! and didn't visit her while she was in ICU.

she's always been like a second mother to me. perhaps closer to my heart in a different way coz she was always one for pampering me. my love for food comes her and her husband. i rem them driving me to go have kway chap in the morn. going to the market with them. making a detour in the car to buy 'special' meatballs. going to pizza hut for tea. staying with them was a constant eating process.

and even after i left her care, when we moved to the north area. i rem walking to the sch bus to go home after sch and the thrill of excitement that comes with seeing them waiting for me at the car porch to take me out to lunch. usually it'd be the great bak kut teh at lakeview.

during sch hols, i'd stay over at their house for a few days. and she'd always buy steak for me and grill it for dinner the first night. and after dinner, we'd always make instant jelly together for the rest of the family. taking out a basketful of toys and playing in the grandma's room. grandma patting me to sleep.

i should be making more of an effort to keep in contact with her...